Thank God for Global Warming!
Fear is not an option!

The Cure!

It certainly took a while but now its over.  We have found the cure for Global Warming.  I was a little disheartened at how long it was taking but as is the case with any great battle against an enemy of such a huge scale, its not the long path it takes to defeat them but the fact that you have that matters.

It was touch and go there for a few years with all the devastation we’ve seen from this huge problem.  I’ll pause here so you can recollect all of the devastation.  All of the family that was lost in this great battle and all of the carnage from huge events resulting from this terrible enemy.

Well the good news is that now it is over.  The battle has been won.  We now know the cause of Global Warming.  It’s happiness.  If we can eliminate happiness around the globe  we can defeat this enemy once and for all.  Think about it.  When we were battling Communism, there was no Global Warming.  When we were at war with the Nazis, there was no Global Warming.  Anytime we think back to those enemies, we think of starving people in ‘COLD’ conditions.  Ah ha, cold.  They were keeping the globe cooled off and we did not know it.  The unintended consequences of our many victories around the world is that we also defeated Global Cooling.  Now if we can just eliminate happiness we can finally defeat this new and greater enemy once and for all.

As you are reading this, governments around the world are looking at ways to limit this underlying threat to the world as we know it.  They are determining, with the help of scientists, how much happiness much be suppressed and who should be allowed to have it.  The possibility of happiness licensing is a distinct possibility. We as good citizens must be prepared for what they decree as the proper level of happiness that can be tolerated in our societies.  Only then can we have a mediocre life that is as long as they will allow and as productive as they need.

To my fellow citizens, keep up the good work but don’t be too happy about it.  The world is counting on you.

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